- Take care of yourself: You cannot pour from an empty cup. How can you give out of nothing? Many times, we are told that the best parents give until it hurts and even when we have nothing left, we need to give some more. Therefore, you want to give up on yourself and you babies, it is not because you don’t love them but because you don’t feel that they have enough love and support to give the child. Without self- care and love you feel depleted! Start small: Take an hour each day and do nothing for any one except you, put the children to bed early, wake up an hour earlier and do something that gives you motivation a strength to fill your cup for that day and give out of what you have not out of sacrifice but out of plenty (your daily bread).
- Show Yourself Love: You have been taught to except love from others and give love to others. I am telling you that you are supposed to love you first. If you love you, you won’t have a problem taking care of yourself, you will do what is right for you body, you will not want to stress and live a defeated life. You love your children enough and would want them mistreating themselves or allow others to mis treat them’; so why do you do it to yourself? Give yourself the same love honor and respect you give others!
- Build strong individual relationships: having six children myself, I know we tend to love all our children the same. I challenge you to get with each child one on one and learn who they are individually. Take them to the store, park, lunch, dinner, or play a game at home one on one and learn who they are individually.
You will understand and begin to not just love your children, but you will find that there is a bond and unique personality trait that brings you together on a deeper level. You will begin to like each other, and it will help you connect beyond the typical parent child relationship. Your child will not just love you; they will like you too.
- Set Boundaries& Expectations: Parenting is not easy, and we have no one size fit all (although society makes it seem that way). You must have enough confidence in yourself and know that God hand picked your children just for you and he also handpicked you for your children. Therefore, you choose the standard and culture for your home. You have exactly what they need to have a great a prosperous life, you are also held accountable to continue to grow and be that best parent you can be. Setting boundaries and expectations is not about ruling over you children but about guiding them to having a great start and foundation. This is the moral, spiritual, and emotional compass you are setting for them. Build a list of how you feel your family should operate and pray for wisdom and guidance. Trust yourself and never compare, once you set the culture, you have the responsibly to get the tools and knowledge to apply it to your families’ daily habits.
- Create Routines: I know this sounds so uptight like why you would want to create a system/ routine. Well, listen girl you will go bananas, how many times do you find yourself yelling the same thing every morning 4 or 5 times a morning, just to get in the car and realize they still have one shoe on and no lunch in hand? Well, I have this method, we are all creatures of habit, and all habits are learned over time. When introducing a new routine, do not just tell them to do it, do it with them. Be sure you are consistent and make it a positive and pleasant experience, laugh at the mistakes, and give room for error because this is a learn a new habit so it can
become a part of your daily living and eventually apart of your lifestyle. As you family changes so does your needs, your routines are not set in stone, and they will need to be adjusted. Think of some things you feel can be done better and create a system or routine that will work for your family, have a meeting, and get the opinions of everyone (including the little ones) take in account everyone’s personality and gets started as early as today!
- Leave room for error: Your home is a training ground, nothing will be perfect, but rather perfected over time. Your job as a parent is to get your children ready to go out into this world ready to live and create a life with a strong foundation built with principles, love, morals, and values. Try not being judgmental but understanding! Your children need a safe place to grow and make mistakes, yes you must correct and discipline (my least favorite part), but the main thing is to be loving and understanding through, longsuffering, patience, love, and understanding. Get with each child and find out what they make be feeling or struggling with, see if you can assist them and if not reach out and get some wise counsel. Think about your current frustrations with your children and find ways to help them get through those situations and work together.
- Accountability: Hold yourself accountable for
- Allowing self-care and not pouring from an empty cup, spiritually, physically, emotionally, or mentally. BE sure to take time out each day to refill.
- Giving yourself the love, you give to others.
- Build a strong individual relationship with your children, you won’t just love them, but you will like them on an individual level. The relationship will blossom to become a beautiful relationship through adulthood.
- Setting boundaries and expectations, you are the compass of you home and the children will go whatever direction you set. Be dedicated to finding that foundation and being sure it is solid enough to hold your morals and values in place
- Create Routines, structure is important when working together in unity to have the family lifestyle. You don’t have a perfect system that fits everyone, but you can create a system that fits you. Remember that is it a time for learning and creating a routine that works for everyone so include all persons in the home when making the changes. Make it fun and lead by example while being consistent.
- Leave room for error, your home is a training ground for learning, guidance, understanding, love, and mercy. You may not have perfect children, but they are perfect for you!
You are appointed boss of your life and remember life is a gift from God to be unwrapped by you!